Friday, March 04, 2005

Poo Poo Moo Moo

You probably don't want to know this, but I just had a very satisfying bowel movement. You know that you are a/n (fill in the blank) _________ when you are happy, satisfied and refreshed even from a good poop. I think that there should be a Hallmark card for these occasions. Something like, "Congratualtions on your good poop!" or "You little stinker! Good for you!"...even sympathy cards for when you're feeling "blocked"..."Our sympathies at this time."

I feel like I just had a great hair cut (but without all of those prickly hairs left over).

You know the happy opening credits for the Mary Tyler Moore show? I bet she had a great poop too. I feel like tossing a beret myself!

Good poops should not be taken for granted. I just finished a thoroughly depressing book that Yaacov highly recommended, The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. I did enjoy reading it. It took me a while to finish. It can be very dark and made me self-reflective in a depressed kind of way. In any case, one of the characters has Parkinson disease and has trouble controlling his bowels. The way Franzen describes the condition made me very thankful for simple things like a good poop.

The only thing that I didn't like about the book is that sometimes the author tends to, as we say in the South, "go on". He has these lovely, lush sentences that really make you feel - anger, anxiety, entrapment, hope and hopelessness - but they are often a little over the top. Someone commented in a review on Amazon.com that Franzen seems to be in love with himself. I tend to agree. He seems in love with himself, the literary ideas, and with language. I didn't find this particularly annoying at first because the prose is so enveloping. But after a while, it's like, ok, get OVER yourself already! As a caveat though, I am not sure if it Franzen that's in love with himself or if the characters bring out this kind of writing. I need to re-read it to be sure. What I mean is that, maybe the characters are the wordy, over-the-top people here and not Franzen. But I am not going to read it again anytime soon. It put me in a funk. I need something light and funny now.

I bought David Sedaris' Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Demin, and I think that will be just the ticket.

I just ate a bit of a chocolate bar. There is an Israeli brand of chocolate and its icon, trademark, brand, whatever...is a big cow. It's kind of stylized in commercials, but on the package it's just a painting of a cow. Many little cows are molded into the pieces of the chocolate bar. Nobody wants to think about cows while eating chocolate...you big cow! I see the connection - milk - chocolate. But I thought that chocolate came from a bean? Why not a talking bean? How much milk is in chocolate anyway? There's a strange coconut taste to the cow chocolate too. It's also very sweet. But like most things Israeli, you get used to it.

Now don't get me started on Kinder chocolate. They're wrapped in these bright packages with pictures of little children on them...all blonde and smiling. I would feel like such a perv buying and eating it.

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