Monday, October 31, 2005

I Am a Perv (not really)

I learned to drive a car when I was 15. Before that I helped my granddaddy drive his tractor. I also learned how to drive a golf cart at an early age. I lived in a rural NC country club community growing up which I think basically means that no black people lived within several miles of my house. Anyway, I am pretty familiar with a car and think that I am a good driver. However, driving in Israel is crazy. People don't drive here. Instead they just sort of sit behind the wheel, press the gas, and kind of steer the car toward their destination - lanes, signaling, driving courteously - out the window.

I have been building up my courage to face the not-so-open Israeli road. The other day I decided to drive to the mall to buy some sweatpants. (It's getting too chilly to do yoga in shorts.) Well, most of Jerusalem's 650,000 residents were at the mall. I didn't even try to find a parking place. I just circled back around the mall and drove home. This driving attempt was during Sukkot and nobody warned me that it was a huge shopping time.

The other day I finally made it back to the mall. I don't particularly enjoy mall shopping and even less so in Israel. I started on my mission.

I am a small person and men's sizes don't really fit me well. I am always on the lookout for extra small sizes. Israel is pretty good about having smaller sized clothing. People here are generally less fat than Americans and they wear their clothes much tighter. So, I have been reasonably successful clothing myself. (Yes, I did just mention ONE good thing about living in Israel!)

Since I am so small though, I am also able to wear boy's extra large sizes. Generally, I scope out the boy's section and see if there is anything that I would wear. 90% of the clothes have some sort of screen printing or wording on them that I wouldn't be caught dead in. Once in a while I am able to find something basic that might fit. Normally I take whatever I've found over to the men's side to try it on. Trying clothes on the the boy's dressing room is just weird. It makes me feel very Michael Jackson.

The other day at the mall I found some cute basic long sleeve t-shirts at a children's store. I felt so perverted asking to use the dressing room to try them on. Seriously, the store was full of half naked boys running around while their mothers chased after them trying to get a shirt over their head. I just knew that while I was in the dressing room (a curtain in the corner of the store) that some kid was going to come and pull the curtain open and I would be standing their like a half-naked Wizard of Oz. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Everything worked out. I wasn't exposed. It does feel uncomfortable though shopping in the boy's section. The clothes are cheaper though, so I guess it's an ok trade-off.

PS: Check in tomorrow for a post about tonight's Halloween adventures!


At 10/31/2005 7:38 PM, Anonymous Sharon said...

Give me a call if you're doing something fun tonight?

Also, the secret to shopping at Malha is to park at the Teddy stadium parking, and use the pedestrian walkway to the mall.

At 11/01/2005 2:28 AM, Blogger Matt Erlandsen said...

Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!. Sorry, I couldn't stop laughing with your post!.


At 11/02/2005 6:22 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Wonderful post, you perv! I can feel for you, though I'll likely never quite have to experience what you do. I'm 6'2" (188cm) and around 210lbs (95kg). (working on being about 180 pounds...)

I hope you have fun with Celestial Blue!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home